There's a 95% chance your profile is scaring away the very people you want to attract
Confession: I want to be buried in a mushroom suit.
There’s a mesmerizing TED talk about how you can be buried quite naturally in a mushroom suit. The woman delivering the talk wore the mushroom suit.
It's white and looks like something you might wear to protect yourself from paint spatters or when skydiving.
Before you judge, please know:
According to her, this is insanely good for the environment (cleans toxins and whatnot from the soil.)
When my neighbors go on vacation, I watch their dog and chickens.
Like clockwork, as soon as dusk falls, the chickens go in their house to roost. My “watching” them consists of swinging the door shut and latching it.
While waiting for them to roost yesterday, I scanned my neighbor's countertop for something to read.
Well hello, "Countryside" The Magazine of Modern Homesteading & Small Stock Journal.
In this issue:
The Do’s and Don’ts of Buying a Homestead
DYI Grey Water System
Make Your Own Hardwood Charcoal? (like to mellow your homesteader whiskey with? I’m guessing.)
The Best Herbs for Containers
You can buy manuals on how to set up a worm composting system, spare tractor parts and all sorts of small stock, even a Nigerian Dwarf - not literally. It's "small stock."
Book adverts fill the back pages. That's where one title stopped me in my tracks:
“Mushrooming Without Fear.”
Every time it rains a little more than usual and I see mushrooms popping up all over, a voice says, “Oh, wouldn’t it be cool to grab these and take them home and cook them with some pasta and nice Chianti like a kinder, gentler Hannibal Lechter.”
This image is immediately obliterated by a high definition vision of me writhing in pain as my body seizes involuntarily around the kitchen floor while hallucinating and foaming at the mouth all because I picked the wrong mushroom. All this, of course, while my dinner guests watch knowing… they’re next. In my terror and pain I try to croak out an "I'm sorry!"
To unexpectedly learn I can Mushroom without fear put me over the moon.
I read the description as you might read a Valentine's Day card from a long-time crush who's finally seen the error of their ways and is poetically professing undying love and so on.
The description read …
“Novices eager to collect tasty wild mushrooms will find this unique guide invaluable.”
Eager novice? Yes! My glee was palpable. Even the chickens could see something was up.
Oh my God! I’ve died and been put into a mushroom suit. FUNgi!
The antidote to mushroom conundrum right here in the pages of COUNTRYSIDE!!!
It went on:
“Unlike others, it focuses only on the types that are both safe to eat and delicious.”
“It presents the 8 rules of mushroom gathering in a straightforward fashion.”
“Each is identified with a color photograph and a checklist. There’s also information on mushroom season and storage.”
There are 8 rules?
I feel smarter already.
Mushroom problem solved.
You know what's better than finding the solution to a lifelong fear of death by INedible mushroom?
Having a LinkedIn Profile that's an irresistible combination of safe and wild.
People have fears they don't articulate until they see the solution, when you deliver that on your LinkedIn profile, your audience feels safe picking you.
LinkedIn stops being a chaotic, click-fest of uncertainty, and transforms into a straightforward, in-season haul of tasty and delicious and all you have to do is follow a few new rules that you didn't even know existed.
If you've ever wondered why with almost 700 million people on LinkedIn, you hear nothing but mushrooms growing... and walk away with the fix.
Go from chaos to organized calm brought on by checklists and cheatsheets, including a brand new one, jam-packed with ideas for what to post and where to harvest good content.
No, you're not hallucinating.
Get my free LinkedIn class and walk away knowing more than 95% of people on that platform
P.S. Don't want to try and live off what’s in the LinkedIn forest without this trusty guide.