Updated: Jun 21
Have you noticed how everyone talks about “young people” being digital natives, while never failing to point out how "older people" online are usually bumping into the furniture?
Behold a true tale:
In the small-ish town where I’m sheltering in place…
a small group of "youths" (allegedly) broke into a church.
(That's “Yutes” for those of you who've seen ‘My Cousin Vinny.’)
This country church needs a coat of paint and you might wonder if it's still operating.
White and square, with a modest steeple it could easily be mistaken for a one-room school house.
Sitting like a white stamp on a green envelope, there's no parking lot, just a small neatly cut, green grass yard.
That’s where the yutes parked.
They got in through a back door, began rummaging around and grabbed a painting: The Last Supper.
Not the real one.
Though I'm betting they didn’t know that.
The sun's coming up just as these “art thieves” are making their getaway.
The Good Lord (to put it in local parlance) must have been waking up too, just in time to see them leaving...
Because they got stuck right in front of the church. Clear up to the axles.
Did I mention it's rained non-stop for five days?
The granddaughter of the church’s founder happens to live across the street.
She might have been enjoying her first cup of coffee when through the curtains she sees these unlucky yutes stuck in the mud.
Out the door she goes to offer and help push their ride out of the mud.
People are good like that here.
As she approaches, at least one of the yutes becomes aggressive, presumably because they believe they’ve been “caught.”
A big Dukes Of Hazard meets Housewives of The County-style argument ensues.
The police arrive.
All is recorded on cell phones, because, 2020.
The masterwork remains hidden away, unseen.
The church owner knows they were trespassing by their behavior.
Yet no one can prove the yutes have done anything but get stuck in the church yard.
In the presence of "Johnny Law" (the church owner’s words, not mine) the yutes get unstuck and get out, fast.
And that might be the end of that.
But of course it's not.
Here’s the rest of the story.
These brilliant criminal minds posted their entire inside-of-the-church-adventure on social media.
One even held a flashlight so faces are easily visible as they walk around, bumping into furniture, as a matter of fact.
My favorite scene is one filming the other walking toward the door with the painting.
Then this happens...
That video is stripped from its point of origin, reposted and seen by friends and neighbors. Local police are tagged and get back on the case, now with evidence.
The video has been viewed over 4,000 times (so far.)
I pray (heh heh) the Last Supper has not found its way to an art collector who deals in stolen masterworks.
Why am I telling the story of the early-morning art marauders?
If you'd broken into a church, you'd want a good lawyer.
If you want a good job, you have to make just as good a case.
In 2020, that happens online.
This "art heist" story is a timely example, because Booster Shot for your LinkedIn profile is open now.
Your online presence can be propelled by the same immutable combination of forces: human interest and the Internet.
Grab my free LinkedIn Boost series here:
It will help you make a better case so grab it here and make your getaway!
Thanks for reading and sharing 👊